The Embracing Warmth of Darkness

The looming darkness came in the form of a client who just can’t seem to throw us the “I’m busy and I can’t afford you to be busy like me” and hangs up the phone when there are things left to be discussed.

But darkness too is warmly embracing. I guess this is why closing our eyes do wonders to ease our tensions and calm our nerves, why we sleep at night and feel rejuvenated in the morning.

Basahin ang kabuuan

Likas na Makasarili

Kung nais mo raw tunay na makilala ang isang tao, huwag kang makinig sa kanyang mga sinasabi kundi sa kanyang mga kilos at reaksiyon.

Kaya nga pinag-aaralan din sa komunikasyon ang mga non-verbal ways ng pakikipagtalastasan at ito yung nag-aaccount sa 70% ng communication effectiveness. Mas mataginting daw kasi ang nais ipahiwatig ng mga sulyap ng mata, lawak ng ngiti, bilis ng hakbang, ikom ng palad, biling ng ulo, laglag ng balikat at tono ng boses.

Pero kung likas din na artista at artistahin, pasensya pero maaari ka ring malinlang. Pero kahit artista, kung wala sa harap ng camera at nasa normal na sitwasyon, ay makikilala mo rin siya kanyang mga ipinapakitang kilos.

Dahil ang tao ay likas na makasarili. At dahil makasarili, hindi mo rin agad makikita ang tunay na pagkatao kasi nga sinasarili niya. Hehehe.

In general, una niyang iisipin ang kanyang sarili — kasama nito ang sariling mga pangarap, adhikain, kinabukasan, o anumang gusto nilang mangyari.

Sige, para maging kapani-paniwala, maglalagay ako ng source.

Ayon kay Ayn Rand, selfishness is a virtue. Ito yung sentro ng mga pamoso niyang nobela. Pero ang selfishness na tinalakay dito ay may ibang pakahulugan sa alam nating pagkamakasarili at hindi ang selfishness na madalas nating ihalintulad sa kasakiman.

Sa mga hindi pa nakakabasa ng mga libro ni Ayn Rand, inuulit ko, hindi ito yung selfishness na madalas, kahit pinagkakatago ng mga kurakot, ay naamoy pa rin ng mga taong ang ginagawa naman ay ibulgar sila.

Iba rin ito sa hindi pagcocontribute o pagseshare ng mga kaalaman dahil nais mong ikaw lang ang nakakaalam at ikaw lang ang umunlad dahil sa kaalamang iyon. Halimbawa nito ang monopolyo o kaya ay sa simpleng halimbawa, ang hindi pagsasabi sa iyong mga kasama ng nais na timpla ng kape ng iyong boss dahil gusto mong ikaw lang ang nagtitimpla ng kape niya, kahit pa nakabakasyon ka ng isang buwan.

Hindi ito yung selfishness na lagi nating inihahalintulad sa pag-iisip sa sarili, at tanging sarili lamang, na pati kunsensya mo ay ayaw mong kausapin. Na ang iyong gawa o pagiisip ay ganito, “Ako lang, hindi ikaw, pero kung ikaw man, ako pa rin.”

Kumbaga, para maging virtue ang selfishness, kailangan mo pa ring maging rasyonal at kaya mong sabihin at ipakita ang kahalagahan ng iyong sarili at ng iyong mga gawa, na tama at may silbi ka bilang tao, at dahil dito, nagiging kapakipakinabang kang miyembro ng sosyedad. Ganito ang sistema ng Objectivism. Ang pagpili ng isang gawa o desisyon base sa rason (hindi emosyon), na hindi mo kailangang isakripisyo ang iyong sarili para sa iba o ang iba para sa iyong sarili.

In short, malaya kang maging ikaw. Parang si Dr. House. Although may mga episodes na kakikitaan din siya ng karampot na emosyon, kadalasan pa ring umaangat ang kanyang rasyonalidad, at ito ang nagiging daan upang maging epektibo siyang doktor. At pamoso siya hindi dahil sa kaweirduhan niya kundi sa kanyang galing.

Ibig sabihin lang, hindi mo kailangang manahimik o magtago dahil hindi mo kailangang manahimik o ilihim ang isang bagay na alam mong rasyonal at may silbi, na magpapatunay din na isa kang kapakipakinabang na nilalang, at karapatan mo ito.

Ganito din ang prinsipyo ng mga bidang karakter ni Rand. Si Howard Roark na isang arkitekto na hindi niya kinompromiso ang tingin niyang tunay na kagandahan ng isang istruktura kahit pa dumating ang panahong wala ng magpadisenyo sa kanya. Si John Galt na nakaimbento ng mas matibay, mas mura, at mas magaan na elemento kaysa bakal at hindi sumuko kahit pa isumpa na siya pati ng gobyerno.

Isang kahihinatnan din ng Objectivism ang free market. Na may karapatan ang bawat isang ipakita ang kanilang mga gawa, malaya itong suriin at batikusin, at malaya ang bawat indibidwal na mamili ng para sa kanya.

Naalala ko nga yung isang rason kung bakit tila hirap na hirap ang ilang ahensya ng gobyerno (o ilang tao na humahawak dito) sa pagtanggap ng F/OSS.

Sa pag-iimplement kasi ng mga proyektong Open Source, hamak na mas maliit ang kailangang budget kahit pa higit na mas kapakipakinabang, mas madaling gamitin, at mas mataas ang seguridad ng mga teknolohiyang nasuri at nagamit na ng mga indibidwal na gumagamit at naniniwala din dito. At dahil mas maliit ang kailangang i-invest sa mga proyektong Open Source, wala ng alokasyon para sa kurakot.

Kaya mahirap itong tanggapin ng mga taong ang pagiging makasarili ay kasinghulugan ng kasakiman.

The Eheads Reunion Concert

Grabe, napuno yung tatlong parking lots sa gawi ng The Fort Strip nung magconcert ang Eheads noong Sabado. Ni hindi na nga namin naumpisahan yung opening number nila na may fireworks at usok dahil noong mga oras na yon, nagtatatakbo pa kami at naghahanap kung saan ang entrance.

Pero enjoy na rin kahit andun kami sa bandang likod. May projector screen naman. Solve na rin.

Nakakatuwa ang crowd. Lahat kumakanta. Lahat sumasayaw. May nagslapdance pa nga sa harap namin. May na-knock out pero kunwari di ko kilala. Hehe.

Kanya-kanyang ikot din ng treats. May naglibre ng drinks, tas burger, tas hotdogs!

Magkakasecond round pa sana kami ng food treats kaso, after the band’s 20-minute break, Ely’s sister, Lally, joined by the rest of the band, Marcus, Raimund and Buddy, announced that Ely was rushed to the hospital. Sobrang natahimik yung crowd. Parang lahat, nawalan ng vocal chords.

On the Eheads concert, the audience felt both extremes, an utmost emotional ride: total jubilation in finally seeing and singing with the band after six years… and total sadness, hearing firsthand that Ely’s physical and emotional strains took its toll.

Like most of those in the crowd, I too felt like not going. It was as if I was waiting for Ely to make a grand entrance and wow us again. Pero habang pinagmamasdan ko yung mga taong parang mga tinakasan ng lakas at ayaw pang umuwi, na-appreciate ko ang crowd. They’re hearts are with the band. No one was heard saying, sayang ang ticket o sayang ang pagod sa pagpila ng mahaba at pagtayo ng halos isang oras.

The concert may have ended abruptly. Sad as it did, at least I was there. I was one of the 20,000 who belted those familiar hits with the Eheads live on stage. Even if it was just half of their repertoire, it was grand. For me, it was worth it.

I just hope and wish that Mr. Ely Buendia would spring back to health para naman “Eraserheads, the Comeback” na! Sabi nga ni Ely, “They try to tell us we’re too old…” Eh, pano na lang ako?

As of the latest news beats, Ely is stable and doing well. Really uplifting news for a fan like me. Kahit another six years pa siyang magpahinga, pipila ako ulit sa susunod na reunion. Feeling classmate ko sila e.

Denials and Paranoia

i woke up rather grouchy this morning. i cannot shake the sense of foreboding. this cloud has been following me since last week, and my regular denial of things to come only heightens my paranoia — that im up for a series of unfortunate events.

it’s like i am feeling a string of luck turned bad is about to happen. like i will be going for emotional mishaps. that kind where anticipations and promises are taken for granted that will leave me crushed and in agony.

or maybe, i will find out things that i don’t want to in the first place. or someone will hurt me really bad and tell me that 5-letter word which i don’t want to hear embellished with encouragement that i don’t really need.

my mind is a noisy whir. i can’t specifically point what it is exactly. but somehow, i have an idea. and disturbing as it may sound, it all boils down to misplaced kindness and false hopes. that somehow, a face of treachery is bound to be revealed.

but i don’t want to think about it. or maybe, i am just denying the warnings, the signs, the hidden truths which i can’t just bury in nothingness just by keeping busy. nor can i dispel the thought that i am bound to be sacrificed because i am in the way, or maybe, of no real use, or just that, a pawn.

for a night, i did forget. the eheads concert. it’s so nice to have them back. but like my moments, it was short-lived. the depression of things to come came back lurking like a ghost. i can’t dispel it.

i only need the truth. just to hear it said. even when that’s the last thing i want to know.

still, i am waiting. if only to tell myself, i am sane, and i am right.

Hearts and Heads

If I were to be an animal, I would want to be a shrimp. You see, shrimps have their hearts in their heads. I was thinking that maybe, if I am a shrimp, then I can tell my heart what to feel.

Or maybe, a starfish. So that I can grow back what I have lost.

Or an ostrich, whose eyes are bigger than its brains, so that I’ll be able to see more of the good things around me and less on thinking if I really should appreciate them.

Wishful thinking.

I am not a shrimp. I can’t tell my heart not to feel hurt.

I am not a starfish so there’s no way for me to bring back those that I have already lost.

Nor am I an ostrich, and my eyes even desperately needs glasses.

Got so much thinking to do. And so much to feel. But one thing is sure, I can’t do it both.

That’s why I’m blogging. Blogging somehow consolidates my luxury to be free-feeling and free-thinking.

So what am I feeling exactly? Hmm. All sorts. Just a moment ago, I wanted to just take a bus and go home. I guess I love going back home because going home means I have gone some place. Everytime, when I am with Popsy and Momsy, all stories exchanged seem fresh and new even if we have already talked (or laughed) about them before. My work takes a sideline too because sharing it with them is like using birds-and-the-bees to explain sex. With them, discussions about our fave topics on politics and religion are just meant to be just that, merely discussions, and are soon forgotten as soon as we huddle in front of the television.

I felt stressed too.

No amount of music can appease my head from thinking about stuffs like remitting my insurance, settling my credit card, paying my visa application fee, finishing my requirements, completing my checklist, beating my deadline, writing a new catch phrase, rewriting an old teaser…

Then I felt scared.

I also felt like running away.

And then I felt tired just thinking about it.

So I guess I have to sleep on it.

Midnight has come again. I never seem to miss it.

My Preliminary Battle Against Ranidaphobia

they consider it a joke. i consider it a battle that i'll wage in feardom come until god-knows-when.

i thought i would just deal with it once a week, but then, i guess they're everywhere when the rainy season comes, even at 87-C!

87-C is the house number of our rented cum subsidized home-away-from-home and home-near-from-work in the middle of urban village called west capitol.

so you see, i am not expecting my great scourge to come leaping on our cemented carpark and crawling... goodness! one slimy little one was crawling just near the door knob! ooh, just thinking about it makes my head swell and my hands all clammy. i'm now getting the goosebumps too, and the palpitations.

see? i'm not laughing when they joke about my fear of frogs. and oh how they love to tease me now and then about it. how they love to see me scared and jumpy when they point at nothing and tell me "look ja, frog!".

or tell me i shouldn't be afraid of them, really, because one could turn out to be my prince!

so i have to start somewhere. conquer this fear which almost always embarasses me, but sends my so-called friends all ticklish and hooting. in fact, two friends sent me "froggy" gifts. a green burner with a miniature frog as decor and a cuddly frog stuffed toy. the first one is now broken and my friend told me i did it but i didn't.

now, the second one, ah! i took it as my preliminary stance to battle. i called it "froogie". i even displayed it on my table and brought it with me when we last visited baguio. poor thing, i left it at my friend's car.

some say talking about your fear is a good way to start a "treatment". all right, i'd rather talk about it than be in a room of... can't breathe!!!

lipad ko to

naalala ko nung magpunta kami sa freedom bar. may dalawang banda na nagpasayo ng kanilang awitin at sinabing walang title yung kanilang tinugtog. tapos, sa conspiracy din, nung tumugtog si rj jmnz, may kinanta din siyang walang title. uso ata ang mga walang title ngayon. anyway...

last weekend, mahabang byahe ang ginawa ko. sa haba niya, mahaba-habang pagmumuni-muni din ang naganap sa isip kong tuliro na rin sa mga bagay-bagay na dapat kong gawin (pati na rin yung mga bagay na hindi ko dapat ginawa).

sa pagdating ko naman sa aking destinasyon, tila bulang naglaho sa aking itinerary ang mga binalak kong gawin habang kako nagpapahinga sa nilibreng tuluyan sa min ni dadadidodu. sarap kasing mapahinga dun. bagong klima. bagong kwarto't kama. bagong channel sa cable. bagong food staples. bagong mga kainan. bagong mga kwentong mumu (dun daw sa bed na tinulugan ko, yun daw yung huling hinigan ng katawang lupa nung mga magulang nung may-ari nung bahay, sumalangit nawa!), bagong mga trip (sabayan daw ba ang mga sandamakmak na aliens sa pakikipagtalastasan). in short, bagong mundo sa loob ng 48 oras. isang commercial ng yugto ng buhay ko.

sa pagpagtatapos ng aking paglalakbay sa norte, kasabay ng mga manaka-nakang ambon at pag-ulan, heto't back to my senses na ulit ako. pagbukas pa lang ni laftaf, parang routine, agad kong binuksan yung aking email at kasabay nun ang status ng aking mga tasks at projects. parang gusto akong kurutin nung mga overdues ko sa wiki at online documentation, ganun na rin yung mga artiks sa website. at nagyeyehey naman yung proyekto na makalap lahat ng mga document templates na kailangan namin sa opisina para naman mapabilis ang aming correspondences.

naroon din yung constant reminder ko na rebyuhin ang linux filesystem. pagdating kasi sa mga bagay na teknikal, ewan ko ba, pero sa short-term retention lang kinacategorize ng aking hippocampus ang mga ito. kaya para ma-override at mailagay sa long-term, kailangan kong magrebyu lagi. heto't nakalimutan ko na nga ulit kung alin sa ext3 at reiserfs ang may journalling. nakalagay kasi sa nokbuk ko, sa ext3 siya, pero sa isang sulok ng aking nagpipilit na makaintindi ng mga teknikalidad, reiserfs ang may journaling. buti na lang, pwedeng i-google! o di-ba, ang salitang "google" ay pwede na ngayong gamiting verb?

at hayun, nagkaiba lang pala ang ext3 at reiserfs sa usapang pinuhan ng sector. pareho naman palang may journalling. mas lamang nga lang sa ngayon ang reiserfs sa usapang journalling.

ano ba ang journalling? para sa mga linoobs (pinaikling linux newbies) at nyologs (non-linux users or no-linux backgrounds), ang journalling ay... ito yung... para siyang record book. bawat proseso na nangyayari sa filesystem, dito nila-log. kumbaga, isinusulat niya ang bawat transaksyon na ginawa mo sa iyong filesystem. importante ito sa mga pagkakataong magcrash ang iyong computer. nagbabasa-basa pa rin ako ngayon, pero pag naintindihan ko na ng lubusan, magandang mai-share ko na rin. tipong in vernacular para masaya. umpisahan ko sa filesystem, hindi nga lang ngayon. ike-ks (knowledge sharing) ko muna sa office.

haay. daming iniisip. pati tuloy yung interview sa embassy, kinatatakutan ko. kawawa naman si atenggot pag hindi ako nakapasa, lalu't pinayagan na ko sa office na mag-leave. kawawa kasi all-expense paid nya to. maliban dun sa interview appointment na binayaran ko ng $9.95. barya lang naman to compared sa visa apps na $131 at plane fare (two-way reservation na kaya). sayang talaga pag na-deny ako. waah! ang problema ko, paano ko mapapaniwala ang consul na super duper closely tied ako kay motherland para magnais ng greener pasture sa ibang lugar. ang akin lang naman, which is what i personally believe, ang nagpapasaya naman sa tao ay siya rin. kung matayog ang pamantayan nya para maging kuntento sa buhay, dapat matayog din ang dapat niyang abutin para makamit yon at dapat, tayugin nya rin ang lipad.

ako naman, hindi naman katayugan ang pangarap ko. pero lipad ko to. maaaring matayog sa iba, pero sa akin, i'm freely flying. nag-eenjoy na ko e. ganoon naman. basta gusto natin ang ating paglipad, kahit bumabagyo pa, kakayanin! atsaka, penguins can fly, di ba? haha! whee!

For a Reason

i have always heard it being said: "things happen for a reason". so when things go nicely or screw up, there must be an explanation to it.

but when, even when we rack our brains and still can't find the reason, then to where do we look to find out why things happen? to the changing weather? in the stars? in the mindless wanderings of coincedences? or maybe, to someone else's reason?

or when finally found out what the reason is, why is it so hard sometimes to believe that IT IS?

when you've always been so dressed up and careful about the way you look, and the one time you got drenched under the rain was the same time when you accidentally met the person whom you've longed to see for eons-- is it a test of faith or a twist of fate?

when you know by heart all the formula for a series of theorem and the one thing that makes you sweat blood is the same formula that was asked for you to explain in a graded recitation, is a test of faith, or a twist of fate?

when the last person who you think would betray you was the one who did, is it a test of faith, or a twist of fate?

faith or fate, things still happen. changes unfold within or beyond understanding. if it falls outside of comprehension, is it better to seek for it or just let it slide and let whatever "reason" that made it happen be revealed?

i miss faith today. it flew a-distance to that place called fate. or maybe not. it didn't bid goodbye.

Mababaw na Luha

minsan, kahit ayaw ko, nagagawa ko yung mga bagay na ayokong gawin. tulad ng magpunta sa mall kung wala din naman akong balak bilin. ang kasunod kasi noon, napapabili din ako. at sa mga panahon ngayon, ito ang isa sa mga iniiwasan kong gawin. isa kasi akong impulsive buyer.

kaso, last saturday, after naming pumunta sa Joomla! Day Philippines, sa sm city edsa na kami dumiretso para doon sumakay ng fx pauwi ng bulacan.

at dahil naroon na nga ako sa mall, ayun, napasyal ako sa isa sa mga paborito kong tambayan. next to the bookstore, video store ang madalas kong itinerary. sad to say, na-leisure shopping na naman ako ng sangkatutak na vcd at dvd on sale. kay, ibinili ko na rin si popsy ng father's day gift--dalawang 2-in-1 dvd collection ni fpj.

naalala ko tuloy noong nakakita kami ni ate ng oil painting ni susan roces. hawig kasi sa rendering na yon si mumsy kaya hindi na ako ngayon nagtataka kung bakit number 1 fan si popsy ni fpj. hehe.

niwey, pagdating sa aking home sweet home (hello weekend!), after makipagchikahan kay madir (wala si padir, may bonding session with da big boys), nanood kami ng isa sa mga binili kong vcd. "i am sam" yung una kong isinalang. this time, normal ang aking madir. hindi kasi niya natapos yung movie. nakatulugan na niya. pero ako, sobrang na-touch. "i am sam" was simply amazing (hi smart, pahiram ng byline). same commendation goes to sean penn. at napatunayan ko na ang dali akong mapaiyak ng movies.

pero dahil ayoko namang matulog ng mugto ang mata ko (mahapdi kaya yun paggising sa umaga), nagsalang ulit ako. "the secret garden" naman. sa isip ko kasi, tutal napanood ko na siya, hindi na siguro ako maiiyak. kaso, sawi ako. hindi ko rin napigilang maluha sa ending.

tulad ng "a walk to remember" na everytime feel kong panoorin, kahit sampung beses ko ng napanood, naiiyak pa rin ako. haay, ambabaw talaga ng luha ko. ibig bang sabihin nito, mababa ang eq ko?

pero di na baleng matawag na iyakin, wag lang immature. :))

Jadobong Manok

Hindi ka raw matututong magbisikleta kung hindi ka matutumba at magagasgasan. Kung nag-aaral ka namang mag-drive, normal daw yung mabangga ka muna.

Kapag naman nag-aaral kang magluto, dapat matalamsikan ka muna ng mantika. Kaya nga nung natalamsikan ako habang nagluluto ng tikoy noong Chinese New Year, naisip ko, siguro, pwede na kong sumabak magluto.

Pero dapat pumasa muna sa strict standards ng aking mga intestines.

Nakapagluto na ko dati ng sinigang na maya-maya sa miso. Malakas lang ang loob ko kasi ako lang naman ang kakain. Nag-iisa kasi ako noon sa BCDA. Masarap naman siya. Ok naman ang asim. Kaso, dahil hindi ako marunong magbudget, napadami ang luto ko. Nauyam ako sa sinigang na maya-maya sa miso dahil tatlong araw ko siyang ulam.

Kanina, nagluto ako ng adobong manok. Isang linggo na kasing nasa freezer yung kawawang manok at walang pumapansin sa kanya. At dahil nag-iisa lang naman din ako, naglakas-loob na rin akong magluto.

Ang turo ni Mumsy, dapat sankutsado ang manok. Gisado sa sarili niyang mantika. So after kong isankutsa si chicken, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin.

Buti na lang, may cellphone si Mumsy! Nagising ko pa nga e. Pero natawa ang aking madir nang malaman niya ang pakay ng aking tawag. Kaya after niyang sabihin ang susunod na step para maging successful ang aking adobo, hinayaan ko na ulit siyang matulog.

All in all, I feel accomplished. Na-appease ko naman ang aking tiyan. Hindi naman masama ang lasa ng aking adobo. Next menu ko, tinola. Tutal, may manok pa rin sa freezer.

The Superb Problems

My sister just can't help feeling ecstatic and worried at the same time.

Their 4-year old son, Yno, started building with his lego blocks when he was three, of edifice structures, boats and cars, and draws them, especially churches, schools and nature views, and colors them in complimentaries.

Their 2-year old son, Deen, can already read words like "puzzle", "dinosaur", "father", "mother", "suddenly" without attending any pre-school.

My sister, when I called her, was all problematic and jubilation. "My hands are full raising two kids, and now I have two geniuses! How does one raise them?"

She and Kuya Dino bought Yno fingerpaints and coloring books, then. But he had outgrown the paints and the crayons and went back into drawing much more complicated ones for his age (said his summer arts teacher). Now, Yno has just finished his 3x a week swimming lessons.

Deen is now the youngest in a free play school which is just three floors below their unit at Residencia.

I haven't visited them lately. But I'm itching to. The last time I got in touch was five days ago. I spoke with Yno and Deen over the phone and they were trying to update me on what they were watching on TV and what they had been doing.


"I go swimming, Tita Jaja", said Yno when I asked him how he is. "Mommy and Daddy in the office", said Deen when I asked where they are.

Goodie, miss them so. The kids, I mean. Haha!

To give or not to give

"Pinahiram" ko kay Dada 'yung black/orange ko na Illustrazio padded backpack. Sabi ko, gamitin nya muna tutal may ginagamit naman akong Echolac na regalo naman sa kin ng kompanya noong Pasko. Pag nagustuhan niya, saka nya na lang ako bayaran.

Pero considering na si Dada 'yun, baka ireregalo ko na lang.

Read more

The Bank and the Buried

It’s been two weeks now that I’d been getting help from melatonin to induce myself to sleep. And now I know why.

No, not why melatonin induces me to sleep but why I can’t seem to fall asleep even when I’m all spent mentally and physically.

Quite hard to believe the reason maybe, but now that I have at least an iota why would make me even more sleepless. But at least, I won’t be nursing “kaba” and “kutob” as if someone’s preying on me.

I come from a town that few people know and fewer still have been to. Long years ago, it had been “famous” for a spring resort and bowling lanes but something close to mismanagement had send it to finally stop operations. Now, the place is one big jungle of weeds and wild-others.

Read more

Anong ginawa ko noong Linggo?

Nakakatuwa. Fully rejuvenated ako paggising ko ng Sunday. Haha! Buti na lang, nasabihan ko agad si Mumsy pagdating ko ng bahay noong Sabado na hindi pa ko natutulog (maliban dun sa idlip ko ng bus from Cubao to Bulacan since Friday). Kaya ayun, pagkakain ng hapunan, straight to bed ang byuti ko kaya Sunday dinner na ko ginising ni Mumsy.

Basahin ang kabuuan

Using my GSM phone as my GPRS modem via Bluetooth

At long last, I can connect to the internet using my mobile phone via bluetooth!

I’ve been tinkering for the solution for the past few weeks and finally, I got it working. Of course with the much needed help and guidance from the OS community.

Here are the links that were of much help:

Archived post by togume in Ubuntu forum
Tom’s attempts to get GPRS working over bluetooth with his laptop
Bayan ni Juan

To read more on how I did it, here are the steps I took from activating my GPRS, checking my Bluetooth to finally using WvDial to establish connection.

I can also now connect using Gnome PPP but I have to save the story for the next post. Actually, the reason why I tried Gnome PPP was I failed to connect using WvDial the first time only to find out that I missed a digit in my Init3 string. Anyway, for those who can’t wait, you can go visit Bayan ni Juan for some helpful tips if you’re gonna use a data cable instead of Bluetooth.

Gooey, I’m way past my bedtime!

Until next post… Ciao!

Regrets

The sure-winner answer to a pageant’s question of “If there’s one thing you’d like to change in your life, what would it be?” is None.

Well, of course, “None” needs to be qualified adding that mistakes had been made but they were learning experiences… blah blah.

If I were to be asked that, I would definitely say, an awful lot! (Ahm, as long as it’s not a pageant! Haha!)

The truth is there are things in the past that when I am reminded of it makes me regretful. The big question for me is “if I have the chance to go back in time and change those that I’ve regretted doing or NOT doing, would I take it?”

Now, that’s more like it. The last question takes out the hypocrisy.

And my answer would be a gargantuan YES.

Now, if only someone would ask me. Harharhar!

Google in Black

As we all know, summer is fast approaching… or should I say, already here! This means that, naturally, our electric and water bills shoot up. We consume twice as much as we did when the weather’s much akin to our liking. You know, like you take a bath everyday now when just two months ago, you don’t take a bath at all. Haha!

One simple way to save on energy is by using Blackle. Not only will this lower our electric bill (hopefully) but we are also heeding the advocacy on global warming (whew!).

So how does Blackle save energy? And what is Blackle anyway?

Read more

Uyimbube

I came across this very funny video in my RSS feeds (Google Top 10 Videos). So funny I decided to "blog" it, meaning, a little backgrounder related to the video and the lyrics as well for those who wanna sing along with hippo.

When you play the video, you'll hear the repetitive word "a-wimoweh" while Dog does its amazingly choreographed step. According to Wiki, wimoweh is uwimbube which means "you're a lion" in Zulu. The root word here is mbube (lion) and Mbube is the original title of the song recorded in 1939 by Solomon Linda's group The Evening Birds and became a hit in South Africe in 1940. A copyright issue arose when the movie The Lion King used the song although a number of renditions were made out of it and a number of movies used it too.

Read more and sing with Hippo

Sleepiness

Yea, i'm blogging again. The reason being, i'm sleepy. The reason maybe, i snatched a bite at Annabelle's singkamas!

But my sleepiness is seemingly more physical mainly because my mind is still a whirlwind of things to do and tasks waiting to be flagged as DONE...

And i promised to do a brainless sharing on "the virtue of evil"... haha.

And i planned to blog about my week-long celebration of existence.

And i thought of those people and things i planned to blog. About dreamcatchers, about 8liens, about wishes and falling stars, about new songs in my head, about my new brainbench certification, about 2.3 to 2.4, about pursuits and long vacations, about ABOUTs.

Got to go. Real sleepy.

Salamatski!

Biyernes pa lang ng gabi, nagte-text blast na si Kj. Saan at kelan daw ba gagawin yung kamitingan namin sa V5. Sabado na ko nakasagot. Suggestion ko, sa badmintunan. Tanong nya, "treat mo?" Sagot ko, opkors not, di ko pa naman berdey. Sabi niya, si pgma kasi inilipat ng 7. Ang V5, pinapalipat ng 6.

O di ba, mas makapangyarihan ang V5?

Basahin ang kabuuan

Ako din, masaya!

Naiyak ako dun sa letter ng aming CEO. Reading between the lines, siyempre, kahit paano nakakarelate ako.

Tama, ang dami ng nangyari. Pero kung susumahin, nakakaisang taon pa lang naman ako (at tatlo na ang 8layer), but then, I share the same sentiment though mine is shallow compared to that of the primemovers of 8layer.

Marami na rin akong natutunan, naranasan at napatunayan.

Basahin ang kabuuan

The choices we make...

"Yep, the past few weeks were a whirlwind of extremes. One event almost tested my restraint and made me most exhausted. Another tested my tolerance and made me most grateful to Him more than ever. Somehow, it made me realize that time is too short not to be enjoyed to the fullest."

Read more >>

Lasing Philosophy

Tutal lasing ako ngayon, pagusapan natin ang katotohanan sa likod ng mga usapang lasing.

Pero bago iyon, isang backgrounder muna.

Ano ang pilosopiya?

Futek. Apat (hmm, aktwali higit pa...) na taon ko ring binuno ang pag-aaral nito. For the blogging moment, I'll confine the definition of philosophy to this: It is that which seems to be what you think and want to think it is although not exactly.

That settled, let's go to my topic.

Ano ba ang Pilosopiya ng Lasing?

To put it in context, mahirap ang topic na ito. Parang Epistemology. It's begging the question. Una, sa Epistemology kasi, pinagaaralan ang "knowledge". At para masagot mo kung ano ang "knowledge" kailangang gamitan mo ng... knowledge. Ano ba ang nalalaman mo sa "knowledge"... mag-isip isip, isa dalawa tatlo... Saan mo kukuhanin ang sagot? Alin ba ang nagpoproseso para masagot ang tanong na ito? At ikalawa, paano mo sasagutin ang una?

Parang ganito. Hindi ko maaaring tanungin si PGMA kung ano ang tingin nya sa nakaupong presidente ng Pilipinas. It's begging the question.

Kaya tama ba na para malaman ko kung ano ang Pilosopiya ng Lasing, kailangang kumausap ako ng lasing? O maglasing ako?

Again, to level off, when I mean drunk, as in dead drunk. Oo, yung papatay ka na pero hindi mo pa alam. Yung nagsasabi ka na ng mga katotohanan na hindi mo masasabi kung rasyonal ka.

Next term, rationality. Bawat semestre sa kolehiyo, lumalabas ang terminong ito. In layman, rasyonal ka pag nangingibabaw ang tamang pag-iisip, desisyon, aksyon o husay higit sa anuman--hindi emosyon, hindi puso, hindi puson.

With these in mind, masasabi ba nating may pilosopiya ang lasing? Na ang lasing, pag nangusap, totoo lahat? Na ang tunay na kulay ng isang tao ay lumalabas kapag nalalasing?

Ibig bang sabihin non, pag hindi ako malasing, wala akong tunay na kulay?

Ano ba ang dapat inumin para malasing ng husto? Yun bang kaya kong sumigaw na hindi ko iniisip na makakaeskandalo ako. Na kaya kong humambalos ng dos por dos na hindi ko na iisiping baka wala siyang insurance? Na magagawa kong murahin lahat ng nandaya sa akin sa piko, teks, at shatong?

Lasing kasi siya nang tanungin nya ko. Kaso hindi ako lasing noon. Kaya ang sagot ko, "tanungin mo ko pag wala ka ng impluwesiya ng espiritu ng alak."

Kaso hindi na siya nagtanong ulit.

Natanong ko nga si Jaja 2. Ang sagot sa akin, "Tanga ka? E hindi na nga siya lasing!"

Futek talaga.

Love at First...

I ask him via sms, for lack of nothing to do, if it was love at first sight. He readily answered, no.

"It was love at first talk," was his reply, with matching umlaut (uhm, the letter u with a pair of dots above it often called "smiley").

Love at first talk. Nice. My brother has a lot of sense, really.

Mischievously teasing sister that I am, I pushed asking him yet again on how long after realizing his feelings that he was able to confess his love.

Gamely, he replied, "Three years."

They went steady for six more years and got married, the product of which is a naughty-talky-witty Elai, now 4 years old.

And yesterday, we exchanged text messages again. My brother, Rhey, is in Zamboanga and was asking me if I know a flower shop that can deliver flowers for his one and only "Lav" on the 15th.

"On the 15th?!" I asked.

Haha! My brother said flowers are cheaper after Valentines.

And so, after a heavy meal at Bahay ni Lola (Pidoy's to many), the scouting for a nearby flower shop was en route.

The Royal Flower Shoppe was were I finally placed the delivery for Rhey's Lav. Then, there was the card. Hmm. I texted him and asked what to put there. Within minutes, he was able to compose his love message which I, in turn, carefully transcribed (adding more lines to even the space, hehehe).

By the way, the spring roses were delivered this morning, in time for Valentines, and he texted me his thanks.

Lav loved the flowers. =)

Room 221

nagkakaroon lang ako ng pagkakataon ng mahaba-habang panoorin sa tv 'pag umuuwi ako ng bulacan ng weekends. doon, sarili ko ang remote ng dvd at tv. hehe. hindi naman sa selfish ako. may sarili naman kasing tv si ama sa kwarto at si inang naman, hindi mahilig manood, unless, bubble gang o mga gag shows ang palabas. o di ba, iba ang trip ng aking madir?

ang downside nga lang, hindi ako makarelate sa mga teleseryeng pinaguusapan sa opis. nung minsan, pinagkukwentuhan nila si kamandag. sabi ko, si richard gomez yun, di ba? ennnnggg. ang nasa isip ko pala, si tuklaw. haha!

dati din, halos araw-araw akong nagbabasa ng dyaryo. updated nga ako sa current events. pati sa mga current off-the-record events. pero ngayon, manakanakang balita na lang. mga snippets na lang ng headlines mula sa rss feeds ko sa inq7.net ang nababasa ko.

niweiz, noong sabado, nakinood ako ng tv at nakibasa ng dyaryo sa room 221 ng cardinal santos memorial medical center. libre kasi ang dyaryo dun at tv kung naka-check in ka. i mean, included sa bill.

napunta pala ako dun kasi may sakit si deen. naka-confine. pero that saturday, wala na siyang dextrose at di na rin naka-oxygen. actually, ang term ni atenggot, ginagawa na lang hotel ni deen ang cardinal. punta daw ako para masawata ko ang likot ng aking beybibeybihan. pero syempre, nakilaro lang ako. at nakitapdance kaming tatlo (ako, si deen at ang kuya ni deen na si yno) kay mumble. ipinalabas kasi ang happy feet sa cable habang nandoon ako sa room 221. tapos, nanood ng blue's clues sa laptop ang magkapatid kaya nagkaroon ako ng time na magbasa ng dyaryo.

at headline doon ang testimonya (and other nbn-related stories) ni lozada. matapos kong maghimutok, masuya, mafrustrate, manggalaiti at muli't muling mawalan ng tiwala sa kanilang dapat na pinagtitiwalaan ng bawat pilipino ay ibinalik ko ang tuon sa tv. nagsawa ako sa mga commercials (marami na palang bago, hehehe).

hanggang ginabi na ko. actually, nagpagabi talaga ako. hinintay ko kasi ang sine totoo sa gma 7. at lalu akong nagngitngit sa gobyerno. ifineature kasi ulit ang "batang kalakal" at "engkuwentro". parang binabalisong ang puso ko habang nanonood.

sino ba ang hindi? nagkakagulo sila sa kaituktukan dahil sa milyun-milyong komisyon at kontrata habang ang mga musmos e nagpipilit na kumita ng beinte pesos araw-araw at ang mga sundalo na kakarampot ang sweldo e nagbabakasakali sa kani-kanilang mga buhay.

naiinis ako. nayayamot. naiiyak. nawawalan ng pag-asa.

Ano daw?

Gusto ko kasing i-update 'tong blog ko kaso sa dami ng gusto kong isulat, wala akong maumpisahan. Kaya tinanong ko ang sarili ko. Ano ba yung mga bagay na hindi ko makakalimutan? Kaso marami pa rin.

Kaya napunta ako sa mga unforgettable replies... Ito yung ilan sa mga naaalala ko. Read on.

Ako: Sorry, I'm late.
Usual: Sanay na kami.
Newsual: Pag nauna ka, mas nakakapagtaka.
Unforgettable: Ayan, may tatawa na sa jokes ko!

Ako: Una na ko senyo.
Usual: Bata ka pa!
Newsual: Sa min ka uuwi? Sabay na tayo!
Unforgettable: Are you sure?

Ako: Saan tayo kakain?
Usual: Sa plato.
Newsual: Kila Bading.
Unforgettable: Sa SM Cinema 10.

Ako: Anong masarap kainin?
Usual: Pagkain.
Newsual: Yung hindi iniinom.
Unforgettable: Gusto mo talagang malaman?

Ako: In love ako!
Usual: Na naman?
Newsual: Akala mo lang 'yon.
Unforgettable: Puso o utak?

Ako: Magquit na kong mag-smoke.
Usual: (ngising aso...)
Newsual: Kelan?
Unforgettable: A quitter never wins.

Ako: C'mon, let's eat ourselves!
Usual: (Nasanay na sila...) Tara, kain na raw!
Newsual: I'll eat mine.
Unforgettable: I'm full. Go ahead, eat yourself.

Nang Magberdey si Boss Mara

Sa gitna ng kabisihan sa 8layer, siyempre kailangang ipagdiwang ang utak ng pagiging abala naming lahat.

Haberdey Sir Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic!

Ang totoo, sa Sagada pa lang, ipinagdiwang na namin ang berdey ni big boss Meric Mara. Pero ang climax, sa new headquarters ng 8liens ipinagpatuloy. In so short a notice, pagdating ng alas otso ng gabi, inalis sa kamalayan ng mga 8liens ang anumang may kinalaman sa trabaho upang kumanta, sumayaw, tumawa at magpakuha ng litrato. Hehehe. Medyo walang ganong kuha ang berdey celebrant kasi sya rin ang photographer ng gabing 'yon. Hindi dahil sa kanya ang camera, pero kasi berdey niya. E sya lang naman ang may creative shot, baka pag kami ang humawak ng camera, either puro ulo o puro paa ang mangyari.

Bakit nga pala kami masaya? Dahil maraming pagkain? Pwede... pero ung handa ni Tatay (ahm, isa pang tawag namin kay Bossing) e un ung nakaugalian orderin pag may bisita o may berdey sa 8layer. Dahil may beer? Maaari... pero local beer lang naman un at kanya kanyang kuha sa palamigan. Dahil first time naming ma-utilize ang music room (na server room, library, sleeping quarters, etc.)? Siguro... pero sa palagay ko, kaya kami masaya, kasi masaya kaming maging masaya dahil masayang maging boss si Tatay Meric. Biruin mo, may bossing ka na iga-guide ka, ituturo ang lahat (este, yung maaarok lang pala ng padawan, hehehe) ng walang kapaguran (with matching slide presentation) at pag-iimbot. Nagpapaabuso nga si Tatay Meric e. Pero pag napuno ang salop, nangangalos din.

Kaya kaming mga 8liens, saludo kami kay Boss Mara na Tatay Meric pa. One of the most uniquest kind. (Walang akong paki maging redundancy. Hehe.)

Kaya kami masaya...




Agen, agen...

Haberdey Sir Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic!

Sagada Survived 8lien Invasion

26 December 2007

We we're supposed to leave for Sagada. It was planned as if no planning was needed. And so, we weren't able to leave as planned. There were clients left and right. And a new 8lien (to be announced) was given a verdict. Welcome welcome new 8lien! Your name may sound a bit vulgar but to us, you're a name to reckon with!

27 December 2007

We slept in the office the night before. And I woke up feeling battered. Who wouldn't? I guess Chox really hated me that he kicked me thrice when I's about to nudge myself to sleep. Haha.

The 8liens made the most of the morning moving things here and there. Oh, yes, I forgot. We just moved into a new office.

By the afternoon, Chox (anxious to meet his "baby") with Yvette went ahead to Baguio. Pangkal and Henyo (with their "babies"), eager to rendezvous followed hours later. Meric, Deng and Roz were doing a client call. Nilda and I were there. Just there. Haha.

28 December 2007

By 2:00 am, the five of us drove to Baguio. We arrived there past 7:00 am. By 9:00 am, we were at Dangwa Terminal boarding a bus to Bontoc.

The 7-hour Baguio-Bontoc bus ride was the longest one I had but i won't mind taking it forever. The view from inside looking out was a "cooling" experience.



The jeep ride from Bontoc to Sagada took 45 bumpy minutes.


When we finally arrived in Sagada, it was drizzling. The first inn we found (Ganduya Inn) can't accommodate the 12 and a half of us. The 2nd was the Sagada Guest House were we stayed for two nights.

Dinner was a delight. Deng cooked adobong pusit and chicken afritada. What happened after that, I didn't know, because as soon as I got stuffed, I was already halfway to bed... then snoring.

29 December 2007

The adventure began late in the morning. We walked our way to the Sumaging Cave. And it was a real blast! It would have been blastier if Chinkee and Ehriel were there to enjoy it, and not just waiting at the mouth of the cave. Hmmm.


Then off we went to the Sogong Cave where the Hanging Coffins were. Amazing!



Next stop, Yoghurt House. Good thing they're serving delights of gargantuan servings. One order is good for 2-3 persons. Tsarap! We enjoyed the food too much that we didn't know we didn't have enough time to venture away to Bomod-ok Falls.

So, we whiled away the time exploring the town, the Parish Church, the "place where it's most peaceful", and the Echo Valley.



Again, Deng cooked pancit for all of us for the nightcap. I didn't eat much as I was still full from the meal I ordered at YH.

Then, everyone huddled by watching the news. Until...

Until Yvette showed the group the one image that made everyone chill. The ghost bride!

30 December 2007

Meric and Deng left at 7:00 am. What's new, client meeting! But they were nice enough to let us stay and still enjoy what's left of our time in Sagada--to buy souvenirs!

The plan was to take the 1:00 pm bus to Baguio but it left earlier so the group has to take a jeep ride to Bontoc and from there, take the bus ride to Baguio.

Well, I may not know what transpired after the group left Sagada. Because I (and later joined by Roz) opted to stay for two more days... Yep, to experience a Sagada New Year. I hope the gongs can cast the bad spirits away from me. Haha.

Special thanks pala sa pinagnakawan ko ng mga pix -- kay Tatay Einstein at Pangk Einstein. Kung wala silang dalang camera, wala akong ibidinsya ng Sagad-Ah! =)