Gusto mo ng ayaw ko?

Sa lahat ng ayoko, ang una sa listahan ko e 'yung binibitin ako. Kaya nga hindi ako nanonood ng mga palabas na may prefix na "tele". Hindi ko kayang maghintay ng 24 hours para lang malaman kung tatahol ba si Pulgoso kinabukasan. Lalong hindi ko kayang palipasin ang Sabado't Linggo para lang mapanood ang kasunod ng nabitin na Friday episode.

Ayoko rin ng tsismis kasi para sa akin, bitin naman 'yon sa katotohanan. Ubos oras naman kung beberipikahin ko pa kung talagang mafia si Bektas at battered wife si Ruffa. Although marami na kong source na talagang materialistic si Anabelle Rama. But then, anong mapapala ko kung alamin ko ang buhay nila? Hindi din naman ako papatulan ni Richard Gutierrez.

Hindi ko rin kaya ang makipagtextmate. Ayoko kasi ng nabibitin ako sa pagkikilanlan. Na hindi ko alam kung nagsasabi ba ng katotohanan si textmate pag sinabi niyang isa siyang arkitekto, doktor, pari, tambay. Although dati, noong hindi pa uso ang cellphone at internet, naaliw ako sa pakikipagpenpal. Nag-iipon kasi ako ng stamps, kasabay ng pangongolekta ko ng mga carebear stickers.

Kaya nga gusto kong tapusin 'yung David's Sling at Scrooge Series kasi naniniwala ako sa Golden Rule. Kung ano ang ayaw kong maramdaman, hindi dapat ako maging tulay para maramdaman pa iyon ng iba.

Alam ko, nakakabitin ang kwento ni David at Sarah. At kung kailan nga ba unang umiyak si Lakeisha. Pero bitin din kasi ang pinagkukunan ko ng lakas sa mga panahong ito.

Kaya ito na lang ang aking pambawi. Kung gusto nyong malaman kung "Bakit Walang Makaimbento ng Time Machine", mag-email lamang sa jaja.dr@gmail.com, magrequest at viola! may libreng kwentong tapusan na kayo! Masyado kasing mahaba kung ipo-post ko pa dito kaya nilagay ko muna sa aking online docs repository.

Isang warning lang, ang "Bakit..." ang kauna-unahang rejection ko sa pagsusulat. Isinubmit ko 'to sa Precious Hearts Romances at sinabi sa 'kin ng editor:

Hindi ganito ang mga klase ng kwentong ipina-publish namin. Bakit hindi mo i-try sa UP Press?

Ewan ko ba. Hindi ko alam kung maiinis ako (kasi sayang din ang P7,000.00) o mapa-flatter (UP Press? Futek, first try ko, UP Press?).

Pero hindi ko na pinagpilitan ang "Bakit..."

Bakit? Kibitbalikat na lang ako. Tinamad na yata akong maglakad noon. Kaya ngayon, ipapabasa ko na lang ng libre sa kung sino man ang gustong magbisibisihan o kung sino man ang may oras at gustong magbasa ng mahabahabang kwento.

David's Sling 03

"What's your schedule tomorrow?" he asked without even looking up from the newspaper he's reading.

"Nothing specific. Why?" I asked too.

David then put the paper down and with a mischievous smile on his lips said, "Janice is coming over for dinner. I'm cooking."

I stared at David long and hard. I let out a deep breath. "That's my cue. All right, I'll spend the night over at wherever. I hope you'll have a great time with her."

"No! I want you to be here for dinner, too. So you'll meet Janice. Come home early."

"David, I know Janice back and bones. I can even write a book of your love story. Of how Janice opened your eyes and made you commune and appreciate nature. And from the pictures you've been showing me, I can also point her out from a crowd if ever I saw just her head."

"But I'll be cooking again!" David half shouted the last word.

"And I'm happy for you," I said. To my surprise, I was sincere saying it.

McDonald's became my best buddy, and Starbucks my wish grantor for almost 6 months because David hasn't been cooking since he and Emilie parted ways. He also became a private property of his room. And tonight, the backpack-sporting adventure-seeking cave-and-mountain-exploring lean and tan Janice had brought back David's flavors and spices.

"I'll try to change my mind. Thanks for the invite anyway."

"I need you to be there, Sarah. I miss the way you criticize my dish after your third serving."

A slow smile spread across David's eager face and I was mesmerized all over again. And the "zing!" was back. I could feel a sweet tingling down my spine as he earnestly said, "I miss you most of all."

Elephant Mode

Sa kaharian ng mga hayop, ang mga elepante daw ang may pinaka-evident expression ng emotions.

At elephant mode ako ngayon. Lahat ng puntahan kong lugar, ewan ko ba, pero pakiramdam ko, tinetest ako kung barado na ba talaga ang aking tearducts at level ng aking sigh functions.

Naalala ko si Buccikoy. Siya 'yung kinokonsider kong counterpart ni Ty Pennington pagdating sa fashion at beauty tips. Wataymin is, ilang beses din akong sinabihan ni Bucci na imemakeover nya ko. Napapayag naman ako minsan. Nagpalagay ako ng eyeshadow. Kataling pusod naman ni Bucci si Ces, na gusto din akong hubaran para madamitan ng mas kaigaigaya sa paningin ng nakararami.

Siyempre, optimist si Jaja 1. Barbie doll ako! Bibihisan at kukulayan upang maging mas kaakit-akit!

Pero masarap ding alalahanin yung mga taong hindi nakikita ang mga nakaalsang ugat sa kamay ko dahil enjoy silang kumanta sa trying hard kong pagtipa ng gitara. O balewala 'yung clumsiness at corniness ko kasi mas napapansin nila yung kaya kong gawin na hindi nila kayang gawin--kumanta ng Alphabet Song ng pabaliktad.

Naalala ko rin si Laila, Enteng, Elbert, Macoy, Lentot at Cj na pakiramdam ko e magiging klasmeyts ko sa LCP. Sila 'yung mga dati at minsanan kong ka-jam kay Winston sa Marlboro Country.

Again, positibo si Jaja 2. Kung mag-papausok ka rin lang, sabayan mo na ng dasal. Kung papaitaas ang smoke, ibig sabihin, pinakikinggan ka.

Pero nandiyan din yung mga taong hinahayaan ako sa tanging bisyo ko, pero alam kong concerned sila na baka magmukang incinerator ang baga ko.

Titigil din naman ako e. Naghahanap lang ako ng kasabay. Di ba, it takes two to tango? Akala ko nga si Enteng at Elbert yun e. Haha!

Dagdag din sa alaala ko ngayon sina Anne, Jovil at Manong na kasamahan kong nagnanakaw ng alatires pagkatapos ng shift naming maging callboys at callgirls. Tapos, magpapalipas kami ng utot sa McDo dahil sa pagsu-sundae ng alas singko o alas nueve ng umaga.

As usual, di pessimist si Jaja 3. At least, paguwi, dahil pagod at busog, straight na ang tulog at wala ng time para kamuhian 'yung mga sinisingil naming mga merkano.

But then, nakakamiss din yung mga taong kahit hindi ko gaanong nakakausap o nakakatext e alam kong sinsero pag nagtanong kung kumusta na ba ako. Kung busy ba ang araw ko. Kung masaya ba ko o malungkot. Kung kelan ako huling nagpunta ng Manila Zoo.

Marami pa silang nasa balakubak ng utak ko ngayon. Sina Cucay, Mia, Jez, Gracie. Sina Teindz, Edong, Epro, Glennfiddich. Tas sina Tay Ruben, Kuya Gary, Ems, Boom, Lola, Mash, Ryan. Sina Liz, Lara, Benchz, Charm, Rache, Ayen, Owen.

Elephant mode ako ngayon. Pasensya na. Senti.

David's Sling 02

"What's new?" I asked without a trace of wonder.

I could have said, "C'mon, David. You and Emilie had had more than just a few petty quarrels. A ledger won't be enough for the time when Emilie cursed you for being "baduy" and I could make a list for the hours I spent wheedling that you look "a-ok".

"So, what's new?" I asked again.

David just stood there. An empty gaze towards the image of an embattled butterfly (although it looks more of a cocoon to me) sent me to a wistful sigh. Yes, David, stare at it. That's the very epitome of your darling Emilie. Sickening.

"She walked out on me when I told her I want to marry her."

And it was my turn to give the frame a look. It reminded me of Emilie. Complicatedly puzzling. But at that instant, I thank her. She saved David from a world that he is not ready to be a part of.

And I stared at David staring at the complicated painting of the buttercocoon.

"So, you're free."

Three words. I could have said it simply in two... "Thank God!" but I kept my mouth shut.

He smiled. Bitterly. Then he went straight to his room.

In a whisper, I cursed myself for being harsh. I should have comforted him. I should have told him Emilie doesn't deserve him.

But I was numbed both with pain and awe.

Pain, because I couldn't stand seeing David with a hurt look on his face.

Awe, because I couldn't quite explicate how happy I was that David was hurt.

I know, I'm harsh.

But then, Janice came.

And again, David mutated.